Swan Song

The past several weeks in Paris have been hilarious, romantic, illuminating and introspective, and it’s difficult for me to believe they’ve come to an end. Day after tomorrow, I’ll wake up in my own bed. I won’t walk out the door and find a fruit stand proffering the crispest apples I’ve ever tasted. I won’t look up on my way to school and see the Eiffel Tower peeking out over the tops of apartments spilling over with bright geraniums. And at the end of the day, I won’t settle in under a down comforter with the night air breezing through my open balcony doors.

Even though I’ve come to love many of the things I’m leaving behind—the smell of freshly baked bread wafting around each corner, the perfect Parisian weather (it's 70 degrees, sunny and beautiful right now), even the insanity of the metro—I am leaving here knowing so much more about myself than I did when I arrived six weeks ago.

For starters, I discovered that I can go at least six weeks without a cell phone or a car. I did buy a phone card to call my family about once a week, but besides that, I really did not miss using the phone at all. I’ve never been a huge “phone person,” but it took me living in one of the world’s largest cities to realize how nice it is to be relatively unplugged. And the day South Texas figures out how to build a metro in all of that lovely limestone and granite is the day I’m selling my car. Who needs it?

I’ve also learned it’s tough for me to go three days without the Internet. Sad, but true. I think I need counseling…

I’ve come to realize how utterly dependent I am on my loved ones. That may not surprise you, but it shocked me. I had always considered myself pretty independent. I generally don’t care what other people think about me as long as I’m walking with the Lord (an attitude which can and has gotten me in trouble before). I kinda fancied myself a modern bohemian… You know, the roving journalist, doesn’t need anyone or anything but her laptop. But being 5000 miles away from home in a city where no one hugs each other has made me realize how my parents’ voices calm me like no other, how no one can make me laugh like my brothers can, and how there’s no replacement for time spent with good friends.

On that note, I’ve told you how grateful I am to know solid Christians that I can be in fellowship with, and how painful the absence of that fellowship has been in Paris. At the same time I’ve become all the more aware of how profoundly rejuvenating true fellowship with the Lord is. Praise Him!

I know now that drinking doesn’t thrill me the way it does many of my peers. In saying that I don’t mean to sound pretentious… My point is that it surprised me to discover that. The legal drinking age in France is 16, and I think the majority of my classmates took full advantage of the newfound freedom. I turn 21 in less than a week, and it’s nice to know that I’m not in danger of losing control of myself. I enjoy a glass of wine with friends (Katie and Anna!), a mojito on a Friday night, or even a couple of Coronas watching the game, but I can definitely say I do NOT drink to get drunk. Phew.

I don’t want a tattoo. I had toyed with the idea in the past… I mean, wouldn’t it be cute to get a little bird right on my hip? Answer is: nope. A bunch of the girls I studied with went out one night and got tattoos, and I couldn’t help but think of the Jimmy Buffet song “A Permanent Reminder of a Temporary Feeling.” I don’t have anything against tattoos, but now I know they’re not for me. I like just being Kate… no tattoos, no highlights, nothing altered… just painted toenails and one piercing in each ear.

I like being low-maintenance. I started timing my showers because I didn’t want to use up my host family’s hot water first thing in the morning. Without me even TRYING to be quick, my showers average seven minutes. Who knew? I also began to like letting my hair air-dry (thanks to my blowdryer not working here) and wearing very little makeup (concealer and mascara are my only “must haves”). I like fashion as a science—you know, studying what works, what doesn’t, and why—but I don’t feel compelled to buy every shoe in every shoe store or wear things that aren’t comfortable or just don’t make sense.

For all that low-maintenance talk, I learned that I can definitely be crazy self-conscious about the way I look. Not in the sense of having a bad hair day or anything… But I got three mosquito bites on my face during the past six weeks (the downside of sleeping with your balcony doors open), and it just about killed me to walk around knowing that people thought I was broken out. Oh, the vanity.

Some minor discoveries/ resolutions:

I want to make frequent small grocery trips. Everything is so FRESH here, and people buy new bread every single day. To do otherwise would be unheard of, and I really like that concept. I’ve always hated finding nasty old food in the fridge, but to always have a fresh baguette on hand? Brilliant.

The French have converted me: I, too, love yogurt. I’m probably going to eat it every day.

I have a skin allergy to nickel. It took wearing a Wal-Mart watch for two weeks here to figure that one out.

I want to start leaving the butter out of the fridge for hours at a time. My family in San Antonio has always refrigerated the butter at all times (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but the French generally leave the butter out in case they decide they want some bread and butter. Of COURSE, I love that philosophy, and I discovered that Katie and Anna’s families also leave the butter out. Why not?

I would love to keep fresh flowers in my apartment, even if no one else is there to enjoy them but me. I mean, what an endorphin-booster!!!

I write too much.

And finally, though I thought that this sojourn would help still my restless spirit, in many ways I feel even more restless than before. I’m thirstier than ever for adventure, for seeing new places and immersing myself in new cultures. I’d like to go far beyond Europe… I want to see India and Africa. Come to think of it, I haven’t even seen Chicago. Maybe I’ll try to conquer the domestic front and then tackle the jungles on the other side of the planet. I want now more than EVER to see the world.

But I realize too how nice it will be to see Mom, Dad, Matt and Brett and be a little low-key for a few days. They’re the greatest, and I love them!

And then a week from today, it’s off to my next destination. I get to spend a good part of the rest of the summer traveling as a writer for a magazine, so hopefully I’ll chalk up one or two more fabulous (if not exotic) locales on the “places I’ve been” list.

Thank you for reading. It’s been such a pleasure.

Love,

Kate